Okay, So I deleted the post my wife had originally written here (don’t worry I saved it in Word) and I wrote my own. A few things should be noted before reading this. 1) I love my wife 2) I don’t understand anything about women – feelings, fashion, rom coms, Lifetime movies—anything. But I do know ridiculous when I see it, and here are a few things that stand out:
A Man’s Thoughts on Women’s Fashion
- Fedoras– We get it, you claim James Joyce and Virginia Wolfe “changed” you in college and you are convinced that every relationship should start with a “meet cute” (whatever the crap that is), because let’s face it, nobody is going to pull off a hat like Ingrid Bergman so we should all just move on.
- High-Waisted Jean Short Cut Offs – the 80’s ended for a reason. We got 100 amazing movies and John Hughes told us all how to feel-that’s it. There are certain things in life we are meant to leave behind, like the silverware at restaurants, friends who liked Twilight, people who eat at Taco Bell sober, Nickelback albums, friends who liked Twilight: Breaking Dawn, and fashion from the 80’s. The Russians forgot about the 80’s and we can too.
- High-Waisted Jeans – I mean honestly, who thinks this looks good? There is NO man out there saying “girls should make their butts look really long”. It’s unsettling. And if your answer is “women don’t wear them for men, they wear them for other women”, that’s just crazy talk.
- Jump Suits – If your goal was to look like a modern Lieutenant Ripley from the classic Sci-Fi movie Aliens, then you are doing well. If your goal was to look like someone who has a job, social awareness and eye sight, something may have gone awry. You know you are wearing a onesie right? Someone made a onesie from some awful textile, put it in a store with the Black Eyed Peas playing, said it cost $120 MSRP but you bought it for $80 because at that point you couldn’t afford not to look like an idiot and now you are at The Cheesecake Factory in a onesie. I’m in five fantasy football leagues. I literally pretend like I’m managing an NFL team 12 weeks out of the year, but I’m also not going to Chili’s in a friggin’ onesie.
Just to clarify, before I met my wife I wore only gym shorts and t-shirts and I do have one specific shirt just to eat tacos in. I’ve never blogged before so give me some feedback as to how I did.
And a note from Jamie:
If you’re wondering how seriously I consider Brent’s thoughts on women’s fashion? Here’s a photo of me in a jumpsuit: